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Man cautioned for not knowing very much about Taylor Swift

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Web designer Wayne Jennings was cautioned by Suffolk police yesterday after admitting that he knew “next to nothing” about singer Taylor Swift.

‘After colleagues became concerned that he was stepping around the subject during office banter our officers were called to Treeton Laney business park where a 37 year old male admitted to contributing very little to discussions relating to Miss Swift,’ said a spokeswoman for the Suffolk Constabulary. ‘At first he put it down to shyness but we soon weedled it out of him that it was down to wilful ignorance. He’s promised to mend his ways and we’ll be back to test him again on Ms Swift’s back catalogue in 3 weeks.’

A colleague, Mary (not her real name), added: “First he said he didn’t like football or watch X-Factor, which we were prepared to let slide initially. But when it emerged that he’d only watched 3 episodes of Breaking Bad, it was then we knew that he was a wrong-un.”

Mr Jennings released a statement through his lawyer which stated that he did not deliberately ignore ‘top of the popstars’ or their ‘so-called rock and roll’ and that Breaking Bad had just passed him by, as it was originally broadcast on an evening when he was doing something, anything, else.

Iroquois Pliskin


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